Often do I isolate myself from large crowds for no reason; Even if they are a friends or family gathering. Sometimes I would sit down on a chair after a happy day and I suddenly think, " Wow, why do life suck this much." Time to time, I would lay on bed at night and think about ending my life.
Very minimal amount of those will know how I feel. You know who you are. This feeling I can say is impossibly difficult to understand unless that person has gone through the same process as I have in life. Wether it be a chemical imbalance of the brain, trauma through life experiences, or all things possible.
I am diagnosed with major depression, reoccurring with psychotic symptoms and multiple suicide attempts. I'm sorry if I keep away from you. I'm sorry if I shut down in front of you. Those are a few reasons I don't intend but do.
Don't think this is a goodbye message. I just had to let you know that I still care about my friends and family very much and why I am socially awkward and how socially incapable I am. I'm trying, I just don't know how to despite all the support and knowledge I have going for me. I may soon or may not ever figure it out.
I may not have the life I've wanted. I may not be who you want me to be. Please don't give up on me because I would not for you.
Dave Le
